The ‘D’ day had arrived. The most feared day of my life. Well, this happens to me all the time. The most usual question I ask myself is, “Why ME”? Nevertheless I never find an answer to it and I probably would never. I try shifting my thought process but then I am stuck with the same old question “Why ME”? It rings like a gong in my head all the time.
I lie on my back helpless, grief – stricken and silently sulking. Trembling with terror and fear gripping me thoroughly, I know not what to do. This has been happening for years to my fellow beings but I guess I am the only bold one to express my self. Ain’t it a matter of appreciation…..I guess it is!!! I have always heard ghoulish stories from my folks about my fellow community and their heart wrenching sufferings. But can you beat this!! Well you can’t because I am in that very situation and I am experiencing the same trash.
Who can understand my pain, my agony, and my sufferings???? Nobody can and I am extremely sure about it.
At this very moment all I can do is dwell in self pity to the core. Poor I am is all I can think of. None, I say none will even develop a mercy feeling towards me. Strange world and strange beings live in this world I feel… Tension is grapping at high velocity like there is no tomorrow…
Strange silence encircled around me and for a change it seemed a true bliss to my ears. It seemed like silence was prevailing before a huge explosion.. I was just pondering in silence as to what my pals would be thinking at the moment because I wasn’t the only one going through all this... Are they also in the same pitiful plight as of mine or are they in a better position…At this very point I wished I could read their mind’s so as to make me feel a little at peace if not completely. But alas!!! As the saying goes, “If wishes were horses then beggars would be riding them”. And all of a sudden it seemed perfectly made for me.
This thought process of mine was traumatic. How could I withstand without yielding into???.... That was like a million dollar question posed in front of me…My head was bursting with a zillion questions……I knew I had answers to them all but one…..That one question was a true torture within!!!! Who really wants to go through all this and more…Life just ain’t easy for our community. Someone or the other keeps going through this state of mind….
How long could I lay on my back???? Time seemed to have come to a stand still. The clock stopped ticking ….Gosh!!!! My heart beat was pacing away to glory. I absolutely had no control over anything at this point of time. My back started hurting too…I was on the way to losing my senses…and who knows what more was in store for me…I was totally baffled at my plight. Me of all…No ways…Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee…..Help me…..Somebody help me…But the words never came out of my throat, for they were stuck in my thoughts only………
Ouchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Now what the hell was this???? A chill ran through my spine…Oh my God!!! Oh my god!!!! Panic was setting in to settle in a big way..Now what is this!!!! Was I catching a chill…no...no.. no…. And then it dawned on me. H2o commonly called water was being poured on my tiny already cold body to make it colder. I was damn sure my body would shrink in minutes and wrinkle up completely…..Then I could sense a rib- poking pierce and there I was tossed over like an omelet on the pan…Man!!! I also get hurt…Phew…what the hell???? I thought silently…I also sense pain in a big way …but how would others know it…Silently I cursed under my breath…...heartless creatures….!
Was I seeing it right or wrong??? A couple of shiny, silvery kind of tools….What is the damned purpose of it.. I wanted to stand up and scream aloud.. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH….. I couldn’t take it any more… this was excruciating agony I was in…then the enlightment stuck… I was a damn scapegoat lying flat on the table ….now I was trying to rack my brains to recall…. I had heard my folks talk about it….times immemorial… It flashed…Did it??/ Oh yes!!! It did…..I was going to be DISSECTED and that crazy process I would be going through was DISSECTION…and it was like a passport to hell for me…one way ticket without looking back…. Oh hell….no not me….panicky…numbness…vertigo….nausea….limited knowledge bank of mine I could only think of all these…..the very thought of what would happen to me was nerve racking…Man…. It had to be stopped or eradicated……STOP…..STOP……..STOP That was all my poor brain could think of right now….Well!!! that was also great as of now…I mean my thinking ability….never mind…Then I opened my EYES and was on cloud nine….I murmured aloud “ Dude!! Better luck next time”……. Yippee…..Yippee…Yeah…..Yeah……ho hoooooooooooooo………This is awesome…..Damn my dream……God it was not in reality…..Pulled back and slept again happily thinking that this treachery has at last come to an End!!!!!.........or should I say THE END……………..
I lie on my back helpless, grief – stricken and silently sulking. Trembling with terror and fear gripping me thoroughly, I know not what to do. This has been happening for years to my fellow beings but I guess I am the only bold one to express my self. Ain’t it a matter of appreciation…..I guess it is!!! I have always heard ghoulish stories from my folks about my fellow community and their heart wrenching sufferings. But can you beat this!! Well you can’t because I am in that very situation and I am experiencing the same trash.
Who can understand my pain, my agony, and my sufferings???? Nobody can and I am extremely sure about it.
At this very moment all I can do is dwell in self pity to the core. Poor I am is all I can think of. None, I say none will even develop a mercy feeling towards me. Strange world and strange beings live in this world I feel… Tension is grapping at high velocity like there is no tomorrow…
Strange silence encircled around me and for a change it seemed a true bliss to my ears. It seemed like silence was prevailing before a huge explosion.. I was just pondering in silence as to what my pals would be thinking at the moment because I wasn’t the only one going through all this... Are they also in the same pitiful plight as of mine or are they in a better position…At this very point I wished I could read their mind’s so as to make me feel a little at peace if not completely. But alas!!! As the saying goes, “If wishes were horses then beggars would be riding them”. And all of a sudden it seemed perfectly made for me.
This thought process of mine was traumatic. How could I withstand without yielding into???.... That was like a million dollar question posed in front of me…My head was bursting with a zillion questions……I knew I had answers to them all but one…..That one question was a true torture within!!!! Who really wants to go through all this and more…Life just ain’t easy for our community. Someone or the other keeps going through this state of mind….
How long could I lay on my back???? Time seemed to have come to a stand still. The clock stopped ticking ….Gosh!!!! My heart beat was pacing away to glory. I absolutely had no control over anything at this point of time. My back started hurting too…I was on the way to losing my senses…and who knows what more was in store for me…I was totally baffled at my plight. Me of all…No ways…Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee…..Help me…..Somebody help me…But the words never came out of my throat, for they were stuck in my thoughts only………
Ouchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Now what the hell was this???? A chill ran through my spine…Oh my God!!! Oh my god!!!! Panic was setting in to settle in a big way..Now what is this!!!! Was I catching a chill…no...no.. no…. And then it dawned on me. H2o commonly called water was being poured on my tiny already cold body to make it colder. I was damn sure my body would shrink in minutes and wrinkle up completely…..Then I could sense a rib- poking pierce and there I was tossed over like an omelet on the pan…Man!!! I also get hurt…Phew…what the hell???? I thought silently…I also sense pain in a big way …but how would others know it…Silently I cursed under my breath…...heartless creatures….!
Was I seeing it right or wrong??? A couple of shiny, silvery kind of tools….What is the damned purpose of it.. I wanted to stand up and scream aloud.. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH….. I couldn’t take it any more… this was excruciating agony I was in…then the enlightment stuck… I was a damn scapegoat lying flat on the table ….now I was trying to rack my brains to recall…. I had heard my folks talk about it….times immemorial… It flashed…Did it??/ Oh yes!!! It did…..I was going to be DISSECTED and that crazy process I would be going through was DISSECTION…and it was like a passport to hell for me…one way ticket without looking back…. Oh hell….no not me….panicky…numbness…vertigo….nausea….limited knowledge bank of mine I could only think of all these…..the very thought of what would happen to me was nerve racking…Man…. It had to be stopped or eradicated……STOP…..STOP……..STOP That was all my poor brain could think of right now….Well!!! that was also great as of now…I mean my thinking ability….never mind…Then I opened my EYES and was on cloud nine….I murmured aloud “ Dude!! Better luck next time”……. Yippee…..Yippee…Yeah…..Yeah……ho hoooooooooooooo………This is awesome…..Damn my dream……God it was not in reality…..Pulled back and slept again happily thinking that this treachery has at last come to an End!!!!!.........or should I say THE END……………..
