Never Say Never

This day will definitely not be the same. A day I do not want to wake up too. A new, a new beginning is so much harder than said. Today is ‘D’ day.  Designated day for others, dreaded day for me!

Today is Feb. 14^th. Yes Valentine’s Day – a special day to celebrate love with your love. Oouch… That hurts me now. The very thought hurts and it pains me so much that I shut my eyes off. Is there no felicity in my life? Felicity to celebrate the very day of the year that happens to fall just once in three hundred and sixty five days, please God please…

It has been an entire year since I parted ways with my love and at that time the penchant towards love felt non-existent. All we knew was we needed to walk out of each other’s life and that is aptly what we did – Part ways for good. Come to think of it now, I am not so sure if it feels so good, but that is the thought for another time. Now, I am wallowing in the emptiness of my lonely life. Coming back to reality, it is Valentine’s Day and do I want to stay at home feeling anguish or do I want to step out breathe fresh? This pensive contemplation propelled me towards the later choice. I decide, why not go out on a date by myself, yes, Date with Myself! The narcissist within had begun to surface out and it felt bliss.

After having made a decision, a decision that took and shook away my contemplation and churned it into a positive path, I was finally up on my feet. Dress to date, date yourself A little extra time to bring myself to a mirror cracking material is absolutely viable. I decided to wear a sheik black dress with chunky golden jewelry to match my attire, golden heels to compliment the dress. Styled my hair into a fish braid, applied some gloss and some mascara to finish the entire look. The outcome was ravishing and I couldn’t stop myself from staring, mission indeed accomplished. All my essentials went into my shimmer clutch and I locked my door to step out.

The evening was scintillating, the sun just setting in the horizon and the air was getting cool. I decided to hire a taxi because I was not in a mood to drive tonight. How could I miss such a pretty sight? After a lot of courage I had decided to treat myself to love myself.  After a few minutes, I spotted a taxi. I hopped into it and was on my way to the destination. I reached after an hour and stepped out of the taxi. The lights were breathtaking and the place seemed absolutely inviting. I couldn’t wait to step into the place for a new experience. I took my seat near the rear side and view in front of me was mesmerizing. I just didn’t want to take my eyes off the picturesque view. I soaked in this scene and wanted it to be embossed in my memory pocket for life. A very sweet lady walked up to me to take my order. After placing my order, I looked around. I could see a lot of couples and all of them seemed to be at their happiest. Smiles on their face, love in the air, the whole place was a treat of retreat. I took my camera out to take a few candid stills. The place was decorated and the decoration was out of the world. I went around snapping a few pictures, pictures that I wanted to carry for life. A picture indeed speaks a thousand words and I loved clicking them.

I came to my seat after I was satisfied. My food arrived within seconds and the smell made me ravenous.  I ate my food, relishing every bite I took. By the time I was done, I realized I indeed had a lovely evening by myself.  I sit a little longer lost in my thoughts, thoughts that make me liberating. That is when I feel that happiness is not dependent on others. It is up to us to remain happy and it just dawned on me that I spent an entire evening on Valentine’s Day and had a splendid time. The pedantic nag had just been strewn out and it made me feel fresh.  I paid my bill and stepped out. It was time to head home, home which will feel like home again.

It was time to get a taxi for myself for a ride back home. I was in search of one and after a few seconds a taxi pulled by. I hurriedly got in from one side and closed the door. To my utter shock, I see another person form the other side, get in and closed the door. I felt so belligerent. How did this stranger hop into the taxi that I had called? He looked at me, “Excuse Me Ma’am, but I called this taxi first”? I said, “I am sorry, but I called this taxi first”! We went on like this for a while till the taxi driver politely asked us to get out. We both didn’t want to leave the taxi and we continued arguing inside. He would drop me first and then continue further. That seemed perfect and I agreed. We got talking after a formal introduction and he didn’t seem that bad at all. He was a looker and I caught myself staring at him while he talked. Damn! Why was this guy so drop dead gorgeous? We spoke for a while and I reached my destination. He gave me his number and asked me to keep in touch.

I went inside and sat at my desk. The evening definitely had transformed into a very magical one and such moments are to be cherished forever. An evening by myself, I realized, I love myself and I enjoy my company. I meet a stranger and he turns out to be very charming and decent. It was a very beautiful turn or events and I loved every bit of it. Within my heart, I knew this stranger and I would definitely keeping touch for a very long time and we never know what is in store for us. But that look in his eyes was so pleasant that I could drown myself in them, cliche’ but that is the truth. A day that I would never regret, a day that will always bring fond memories down memory lane.

Life at times seems very strange, you never know what happens when and I think that is the actual beauty that appreciates life. At the most unforeseen times, the most pleasant incidents take place that keep you dizzy with joy. Life is a beauty and that happens one step at a time, at a time when you least expect it and stop looking for it.

That is why I say, Never Say Never!